Episode 4: What is Deconditioning?

Introduction and Show Notes for HDxLiberation Podcast Episode 4: "What is Deconditioning?"

Introduction:
In this engaging episode of the HDxLiberation Podcast, hosts Andrea and Courtney dive deep into the concept of deconditioning through the lens of human design and liberation theology. They explore the interplay between individual growth and societal conditioning, discussing how to recognize and release limiting beliefs and patterns to live more authentically.

Show Notes:

•  [00:00:00] Welcome and Introduction: Andrea and Courtney introduce the topic of deconditioning, setting the stage for a conversation on self-discovery and liberation.
•  [00:01:00] Personal Check-ins: The hosts share their current feelings and recent experiences, highlighting the relevance of deconditioning in their lives.
•  [00:04:00] Defining Deconditioning: An explanation of deconditioning within the context of human design, focusing on the release of patterns that lead away from the true self.
•  [00:07:00] Intersection with Race and Identity: Courtney shares insights on how deconditioning relates to anti-racism work and identity development.
• [00:11:00] Practical Examples of Deconditioning: Andrea provides examples from human design on how to approach deconditioning, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and shifting patterns.
• [00:15:00] The Role of Experiences: Discussing how early experiences and societal messages contribute to conditioning and the importance of acknowledging these influences.
• [00:19:00] Empowering Through Human Design: How human design offers a framework for understanding and navigating the deconditioning process.
• [00:24:00] Differentiation and Health: Exploring how unique design aspects can influence one's health and well-being, emphasizing the value of understanding one's design for personal growth.
• [00:30:00] Authority and Timing: The significance of listening to one's inner authority in the deconditioning process, and how timing plays a crucial role. 
• [00:38:00] Experimentation and Diet: Courtney discusses personal experiments with diet and determination, highlighting how these experiences have informed her deconditioning journey.
• [00:44:00] The Importance of Waiting: A discussion on the value of patience and waiting in the context of human design and personal transformation.
• [00:48:00] Feeling the True Self: Identifying the sensations and experiences associated with living as one's true self according to human design types.
• [00:52:00] Joy and Satisfaction: How engaging in activities that bring joy can facilitate the process of finding and living as one's true self.
• [00:55:00] Gentleness and Self-Compassion: The episode concludes with a reminder of the importance of treating oneself with kindness and compassion throughout the deconditioning process.

Closing Remarks:
Andrea and Courtney wrap up the episode with a heartfelt thanks to the listeners, encouraging them to continue exploring their paths to liberation and authenticity through the lens of human design.

Contact and Support:

For more insights and to join the conversation, follow the HDxLiberation podcast on social media at @hdxliberation on Instagram, subscribe to their YouTube channel, and join the Liberation Lab on Substack for exclusive content and community benefits.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and Introduction: Andrea and Courtney introduce the topic of deconditioning, setting the stage for a conversation on self-discovery and liberation.
• 1:00 Personal Check-ins: The hosts share their current feelings and recent experiences, highlighting the relevance of deconditioning in their lives.
• 4:00 Defining Deconditioning: An explanation of deconditioning within the context of human design, focusing on the release of patterns that lead away from the true self.
• 7:00 Intersection with Race and Identity: Courtney shares insights on how deconditioning relates to anti-racism work and identity development.
• 11:00 Practical Examples of Deconditioning: Andrea provides examples from human design on how to approach deconditioning, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and shifting patterns.
• 15:00 The Role of Experiences: Discussing how early experiences and societal messages contribute to conditioning and the importance of acknowledging these influences.
• 19:00 Empowering Through Human Design: How human design offers a framework for understanding and navigating the deconditioning process.
• 24:00 Differentiation and Health: Exploring how unique design aspects can influence one's health and well-being, emphasizing the value of understanding one's design for personal growth.
• 30:00 Authority and Timing: The significance of listening to one's inner authority in the deconditioning process, and how timing plays a crucial role.
• 38:00 Experimentation and Diet: Courtney discusses personal experiments with diet and determination, highlighting how these experiences have informed her deconditioning journey.
• 44:00 The Importance of Waiting: A discussion on the value of patience and waiting in the context of human design and personal transformation.
• 48:00 Feeling the True Self: Identifying the sensations and experiences associated with living as one's true self according to human design types.
• 52:00 Joy and Satisfaction: How engaging in activities that bring joy can facilitate the process of finding and living as one's true self.
• 55:00 Gentleness and Self-Compassion: The episode concludes with a reminder of the importance of treating oneself with kindness and compassion throughout the deconditioning process.

Transcript

Introduction: 0:02

Hi, I'm Andrea. Hey y'all, this is Courtney and welcome to the Human Design and Liberation podcast. This is a space where we explore how human design and liberation theology intersect with the past, present, and future. With the intent of sharing the beauty and pain of the human experience to encourage you in your liberation journey.

Courtney Napier: 0:34

Hey girl, hey.

Andrea Ward Berg: 0:35

Hey. We are here. We're back.

Courtney Napier: 0:41

I'm so excited. I'm really excited about this episode.

Andrea Ward Berg: 0:45

Yay, me too. Me too. First of all,

Courtney Napier: 0:49

how are you feeling?

Andrea Ward Berg: 0:53

I feel pretty good. I feel pretty good. It's Friday. Woo hoo! Yeah. Great foots Friday. We just had our new moon and Capricorn. So definitely like feeling that for sure. So I trust the astrologers when they say that there's some lightness ahead now because The kickoff to 2024 has been weird.

Courtney Napier: 1:28

Yeah, Chani was like, yeah, like the year hasn't really started until now and it really does feel like that. It really

Andrea Ward Berg: 1:34

does. Yeah, it really does. Yeah. So I feel good. How are you feeling?

Courtney Napier: 1:40

I'm feeling really good, actually. I'm feeling really good. I'm feeling. I had a really good therapy session yesterday, which was lovely, just talking through some like grounding exercises. I think, I guess one of the things is like going from vacation to back to real life. I think it's like we want, like we're programmed to just dive right in and do all the things. Yeah. And then we try to do that and our bodies are like. No,

Andrea Ward Berg: 2:20

We don't work that way.

Courtney Napier: 2:23

We humans do not work this way. This is not the time to be doing that. And so I definitely feel like that caught up with me. But I'm like, I'm really, I'm like trying to deepen those grooves in my brain. Like those new connections in my brain was like, no, that's not what we do. We don't just like. Dive into the deep end right at January one, we rest into the new year like we yeah. Yeah, it's definitely a, slow meditative restful entrance and I, the whole family, I think I'm feeling it even from the kids too. They're coming home so exhausted from school. Yeah. It's it's okay to take a nap. It's okay. Yeah. To be slow. And so we're all learning to grasp that

Andrea Ward Berg: 3:21

again. Yeah. So we're going to talk about deconditioning today. Yes. Yes. And I love this topic, as

Courtney Napier: 3:33

so excited. You want to kick us off?

Andrea Ward Berg: 3:39

Sure. So I think it's important to talk about what deconditioning is to kick us off because, human design is a very specific way of naming deconditioning. Yes. And. It's a word that gets used a lot in the public space. When we talk about deconditioning in human design, what we're talking about is releasing conditioning that pulls you into your not self, specifically releasing beliefs, thought patterns. And even energetic patterns, really when it comes down to it it's patterns that get lodged in your design, in your centers. And, when Ra would talk about deconditioning, he would often start with the open centers, which are the centers that are not colored in on your chart. But. Your defined centers can also get conditioned and often defined centers are more challenging to decondition than undefined centers. So they're harder to condition, but they're also harder to decondition.

Courtney Napier: 5:11

Yeah. I've definitely experienced that. Yes. We have a lot of definition in my, body graph. So Thank you.

Andrea Ward Berg: 5:19

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's important to name that because the undefined centers are the easiest place to start. They're like the most obvious. But like you, a lot of people have a lot of deficient definition. And you only have two undefined centers. I have a client that has no undefined centers. She's heavily conditioned. She's very conditioned, that makes so much sense. And so the process of conditioning was a lot more traumatic because it takes a lot to condition a defined center.

Courtney Napier: 5:59

It does. It really, what really stuck out to me about conditioning and deconditioning when I first started, learning about human design. And consequently I think this is the reason why I found you is because I have a background in anti racism study and, race identity development theory. So that's something that I have deep knowledge of. I've been studying it for years. And, that work essentially is re unlearning who society has. all to be not just black identity, but white identity. And then there's, others like in this year, in the study of race identity development, there's also like Latino, Asian American, and all of those layers. And because we live in a white supremacist, hegemonic society, we all receive very, thorough conditioning around who we are and why we're here and what we're here to do. All of us, everyone. And so the idea of conditioning and deconditioning was probably one of the biggest things that I was able to latch on to when I started studying human design, because I was already so aware of the way that other people's, desire to define another person. Yeah. Exists. Yeah. That exists and that part of growing up, and this is for anyone, regardless of how you feel about race or any of those things, all of us go through the process of, receiving those messages, following those messages, identifying those messages, and then potentially changing those changing our relationship to those messages over time. Yeah. And so that was something that I was like, oh yeah. Yeah. This is. Of course this makes so much sense. This is real. This is real life. This idea of making that, creating, understanding the difference between who you are and who others say you are.

Andrea Ward Berg: 8:32

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And what I think is helpful with human design is that the framework is so specific, right? Yes. Your design has attributes. And it has many, layers, right? Like I often, when people ask me, what makes human design different in my perspective, it is the most complete representation of a human experience that I have seen. And the reason for that is the layers and the complexity. There's a lot of layers and a lot of complexity. And, It's both. And because you don't need all the layers and all the complexity to be able to live your true self. So true self is you're in a just living out the way it's meant to live. Not self is the way that you're living out when you're experiencing. Conditioning. And so there's this really simple recipe that is very hard. Do not confuse simple with easy.

Courtney Napier: 9:50

Exactly. Exactly. It is not

Andrea Ward Berg: 9:52

easy. It is not easy

Courtney Napier: 9:54

to live a general lesson. Just hold that all the time.

Andrea Ward Berg: 10:00

Do not confuse simple with easy. Often the simple answer is the hardest answer. So the simplicity of it allows you to stick with it, allows you to have some stamina for the difficulty. And what's awesome about the simplicity is that It's really clear when you're in your not self, when you are bumping up against conditioning and just by nature. Of being a human being who wants to be in true self, you are going to bump up against that conditioning. So the sooner, and that's one of the reasons why I wanted to do this episode so early in the podcast is because I want people to understand what it looks like to be in a healthy relationship with your conditioning. You're never going to be completely free of conditioning. That's not even the point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The point is to release the conditioning that takes you to not self right and recondition yourself to go to true self. So just to give an example, if you are, let's say you are a generator or an mg and you, your conditioning, has you override that knowing of enoughness when you've done enough. And you're ready to rest. Let's say it's the nine to five conditioning, or let's say it's, a trauma response of not feeling safe if you're not moving, right? There's so many different ways that conditioning of the sacral comes in, but the sacral is such a strong motor that you can power through things. You can move past that knowing, right? So true. Transcribed The deconditioning process is going to bump you up against whatever it is that conditioned the sacral, right? Whatever, happened. And, most of us, this started when we were little and this is why I think the inner child work is so powerful and we'll do an episode on that and how that has been.

Courtney Napier: 12:28

Yes. Yes. Stay tuned. For real.

Andrea Ward Berg: 12:32

If you can come into the journey with an awareness of, okay, the point is not for me to get rid of all conditioning. That's not possible. The point is for me to find the way to my true self through this process. Then when you bump up against that conditioning, cause strategy and authority is going to bump you up against it because it wants you free of the not self. So you can look at those Assignments or those experiences for the wisdom that they're carrying so that you can process it and hopefully remap a cycle

Courtney Napier: 13:18

versus

Andrea Ward Berg: 13:22

I think a lot of the deconditioning that is not human design centric or not human design related. It doesn't necessarily give you, it doesn't point you towards anything. And we're trying to like decondition from late stage capitalism, or we're trying to decondition from supremacy culture. We're not necessarily pointing towards, okay, how does it look elsewhere? Now, I, there are some thought leaders who are doing a fantastic job of pointing us out where elsewhere, like I really love Adrian Marie Brown's strategy.

Courtney Napier: 14:06

And Miriam Kaba. The abolitionists movement does a really good job of merging strategy again. Which

Andrea Ward Berg: 14:14

I think is definitely, I would say part of the abolitionist movement. She is definitely part of it. Yeah. Sonia Ray Taylor does a great job with that. Yes. Rec momentum there's many teachers out there who are helping us remember because the truth is there, there is a

Courtney Napier: 14:35

before. Exactly. That's the, yes. That's 100 percent it. There's a before a lot of these lessons and experiences even because I think I just want to reiterate something that you've already pointed out is that it's not just verbal. It's not just these intellectual ideas. These are experiences. These are In utero experiences. These are, pre verbal experiences that all condition us Rod talks about even like your mother's milk, like some babies, that's not the best choice, especially we're mothers. So imagine us reading that and thinking about all the women, all the birthing people that we've experienced, who've struggled with. Yeah. Yeah. Those types of things. And yeah, wishing that they had this to read to know that it might not be right for them. Yeah. And that's okay. And so just reiterating that it's not just, something that you were taught in a book. We're talking about something way, beyond. Conditioning is way beyond that. And I

Andrea Ward Berg: 15:50

think when you can come to terms with the fact that, the point is not to, the point is not to be free of any conditioning. Then you can take some of the pressure off of yourself. Like for example, if your baby is like cold determination and you're breastfeeding and. Maybe there are some challenges like I remember and now I'm like going to have to look up her determination. But I remember when my sister was nursing her firstborn, she would just go on strike and would refuse to nurse for weeks, like two weeks, three weeks. Yeah. And she would have to pump all the time and she would still take a bottle. And that is a thing like there are babies that do that, yeah. And my five year old at two years old, he was like, maybe two years, three months went on fruit strike and stopped eating fruit. And he's still will eat very few types of fruit at five and a half. Like he, he, before the fruit strike, he loved strawberries, blueberries, oranges, like anything I could put in front of him. And now. The fruit strike, he would only eat apples. That was the only fruit I could get in him. Now you can imagine it is not so good for your digestion to not have any fruit. Okay? Yeah, it's true. It's true. Constipation is painful, especially for three and four year olds. Yeah. So he would Eat those like fruit pouch things. He loves those. It's funny cause we haven't had them for a while, but I got some for the two year old recently and Arthur wants them. The five year old wants them. I'm like, sure, buddy. Have them, whatever. But he's consecutive and consecutive, they want the same thing and they want. What they want and it's, and so I think for me, like having this awareness has helped me know that I am conditioning him. Like I can't not condition them. We're here to be conditioned, but I can condition him to listen to his body. I can empower him to, honor his body. I can condition him to really Listen to the way that our body works to learn the way that his body works so that he feels more autonomy. What are the things that support his tummy? I can intentionally condition him in a way that is going to give him access to true self.

Courtney Napier: 18:52

100%. Yes. I love that. I love that. And you actually. Word that I was moving towards because one of the, scholars that I love so much when, and I, you'll hear her name a lot. Dr, Janet E. Helms. She's a professor and a scholar out of Boston University, and she is she was on the leading edge in the early 90s of race identity development theory. Okay. Particularly white race identity development theory and she wrote this incredible book called a race is a nice thing to have. Oh yeah. Yes. And that's what, when she breaks down, there's like a model you can find online, the white identity development theory model. And she said the final stage that she sees, a fully realized person, white person. To get to is it's autonomy is what she calls it and autonomy and I think I actually this is for everyone This is not this is for black people as well. I'm trying to remember that the charts But the whole point is to get to a place where you can reflect on where you've been And the values you were taught and the history that you have and the experiences that you have. And then you can also reflect on your own personal values, your own personal, that person that you want to show up as in the world. And then you're able to choose your path forward instead of saying, Oh, this is what we've always done. This is how my parents raised me. This is a path of least resistance. Oh, this isn't my problem to deal with X, Y, Z. It's no, it's about aligning to your inner voice and your core values. And so I love that you said autonomy because that's exactly what The deconditioning process is it's not about forgetting or erasing or throwing away where you've been and what those conditioning experiences were. It's about giving back your capacity to choose. Yeah. Between what you've experienced, what you've known and what your body and what your design is telling you. And that I love that you said that, like you're conditioning. We are, we're as parents, we are conditioning our kids, but we are conditioning them exactly like you said, to listen to their bodies, to listen to their inner voice. My, my little Manny Jen at home, I'm teaching her to listen to her sacral. What does that mean? Yeah. I'm teaching Elijah to listen to his. That spleen, that splenic center, and, and so yeah, we are here to be conditioned. It's not, even bad necessarily. And I wanted to talk about that a little bit too, just like I read recently and I loved how Rob was like, our conditioning God is here. Yeah. Good, bad, ugly it got us here. It got our here, but we're still around, but we're still here. Survival is still a thing. It's still, yeah. We're humans. We're still a question. Yes, But I'd love for you to, I share your thoughts about this again, just attacking that binary of, don't do that. Do this kind of, yeah, that we can get into when we talk about conditioning. Yeah. I

Andrea Ward Berg: 22:44

think that, This first layer of recognizing that it's really not possible to be without conditioning. Then the question becomes. What conditioning points us to true self versus what conditioning points us to not self. And, Ra was really clear that not everybody needs human design. And I think that's a really provocative statement. I think that A lot of, creators or, thought leaders, whatever you want to call people who are bringing these systems into the world, take like an evangelist perspective of everybody has to have this, and that was really freeing for me as somebody who This has become one of my systems, like as projectors, we're here to learn systems. And, this is one of my systems. And I say one of, because, liberation theology engineering I'm an engineer by trade, business management, have many systems. And not fixating on. Everybody having to have human design or astrology or, business administration or any of my systems, not every everybody doesn't need that, is helpful. And so when I think of it from that perspective, it's helpful to remember that we are so differentiated. What's healthy for me a lot of times is not healthy for you. Like I have, taste. Is my determination, right? And you are hot thirst. And there's times where cold things are good for me and that is not necessarily good for you, but, and also there are times when your body is going to want cold things because of that conditioning. And so it's interesting to notice what happens. When you do the things that you are conditioned to do, sometimes you need that contrast to start the process of deconditioning, right? And so when you first learn your design and you learn, Oh, like this is healthy for me. This is not healthy for me. You might still want to do the things that are not healthy for you. And that's okay. That is part of you learning, Oh, what happens to me when I do these things. And as you refine your process, you will get more and more contrast. So I'll give you an example. Like before coming into design, I was already in a negotiation. I'll call it with caffeine. I had done, nothing weird, but I had done it's called a standard process cleanse every year in the spring for five or six years. And for The length of the cleanse, you give up caffeine and you give up alcohol and alcohol was never a problem for me. But caffeine was always a challenge for me and, as a projector I have different language around it now. So what I could tell you 10 years ago when I was doing the clip or longer than that, I think I started my first one was maybe it was either 2012 or 2013. So 10 or 11, 11 or 12 years ago. So the first time I did it. I literally was in the fetal position for three days. Yeah, the detox was so intense. And I just, thought, wow, like I have to have it like my body needs this. And what I have come to understand now, 10 years later is that. As projectors, we are so deeply conditioned in the sacral to push back against to push past what our physical capacity is. And this is, a survival situation where, projectors pre civilization, which they didn't exist until civilization existed, but, would not have been able to survive. And so there's this niggling subconscious Programming, and caffeine is a substance that really allows us to push past to a certain extent, right? To a certain extent, because there are times when caffeine doesn't even get you out of the tired. And then there are times when caffeine caught the pushing past, not caffeine, but the pushing past, which caffeine is a tool for causes you to get sick or causes other things. So, I was probably. I don't know, three or four years into my journey. I had ever, it was like maybe four or five months. I had been sick so many times since Everett was born. And, that was when You know, I bought my strategy and authority bumped me up against this awareness again. An herbalist I follow started talking about how, caffeine is a low grade antidepressant, which you can still find the highlights. It's organic Olivia and the highlights are called depresso, which I just think is like the best

Courtney Napier: 28:46

name for it. I love it. I stand that title. Oh my gosh. That is mind blowing.

Andrea Ward Berg: 28:56

I

Courtney Napier: 28:56

know, right? That makes a lot of connections for me.

Andrea Ward Berg: 28:59

So she's talking about how in Chinese medicine, caffeine is a low grade antidepressant. And when, she said that, Like my spleen lit up. I don't even know how to tell you. So at this point, we'd been going through all these health stuff after having my second born. And, I was like, this is why, I can't get off of it. So when you, have this awareness, it's okay. And then I checked in with my spleen. I'm like, is it time? And I don't force it. This was maybe like,

Courtney Napier: 29:40

that's a big. This is maybe like March ish. You just went by that, but that's such a big nugget. Can you just say that one more time? So felt the need to change, but you were like, maybe not right now though.

Andrea Ward Berg: 29:55

Yeah. Yeah. So this is authority. So it's so important when you, see something or you come up against something that you want to change or you want to do or whatever, picking that moment to check internally with your authority to see, is that for me in this moment? Yeah, because that really connects you in with divine timing. And like I said, I'd been juggling with this. I was drinking, when I tell you what I was drinking, you're going to be like, really, you might roll your eyes. I was drinking like two black teas a day. Which is like the equivalent of one coffee. Yeah. For me it was a lot. Yeah. And I wasn't feeling myself until I had the first tea and I really needed the second tea to get through the day. And so I don't, like that feeling. I don't like that feeling. And so it was already like in my awareness, like I, something's off here. I probably need to go off now. Remember I've been in this relationship with caffeine, been in this negotiation for over 10 years. I know what I know how I feel when it's not working for me. Yeah, I like checked in and again, I had a four or five month old and my spleen was like, no. And I was like, okay, so I know I'm going to need to do this soon, but I'm not doing it yet. And then the moment came when we all got COVID. This was spring of 2022. All four of us first, Arthur and I went down with the flu and then we got COVID on top of the flu. And then we Yeah. And I was like, I had been off. I when you're sick like that, nothing tastes good. And so I hadn't had tea in a few days. I was like, yes, this is it. This is the moment we're doing it. Cause it doesn't have to hurt. That was the first week of June, almost two years ago. And then the awareness of what caffeine is as a antidepressant has helped me, see it as a tool. So I'm not a purist. Like I have a decaf coffee every once in a while, have a decaf latte. I have decaf tea. I still eat chocolate every once in a while. All of those things have caffeine in it. Chocolate. Is actually the most, the one I have to watch the closest because it has theobromine in it and it will keep me up in the middle of the night. But I think what's interesting is just that process of coming into the awareness and then that shifted something for me around, because what I realized is that because I'm pushing past. My physical capacity. I'm compromising something as a projector, right? My job is to see. Yes, my job is to see. And when I'm pushing past my physical capacity, I'm inhibiting my ability to see. Yes. And that was something I just couldn't unsee,

Courtney Napier: 33:13

Yeah, if

Andrea Ward Berg: 33:14

this is my life's work, then I'm really, I'm my own worst enemy here. Like I'm not able to bring my full potency because Overriding myself. Wow. This is just like an example of deconditioning and action because it's not something that you can turn on a dime. Like the example that you gave when we were just talking about how are we feeling like recognizing that the body has its own process. And so much of human design is putting the body in the lead. And so having this awareness, Oh, like I'm conditioned to do this thing and then surrendering to the body because the body doesn't want to do what you're conditioned to do, but it needs its own process to unwind where that conditioning comes from.

Courtney Napier: 34:01

Yes. Oh, you're on a roll. That was so good. That was so good. It's making me think of a lot of things. So I want to go back briefly to, to mention what autonomy is again, is autonomy is choice. You're not becoming any specific type of person, like just and this is probably one of the, that's why strategy and authority are so, crucial to human design is that. I'm going to speak for myself as a generator. I've been conditioned to want to hang up my hat on a label. And this is like some inner work that I've been doing very recently. Actually, it actually started last year during the Venus retrograde in Leo, but wanting to being very, frustrated that I could not hang my hat on a label for myself. Or for my body, like the things I was feeling in my body or the I just, wanted this consistent thing, this label that I could just be this person or whatever. And it's been recently that I've realized I'm not like, I'm not supposed to have an intellectual, there's not a single intellectual. Idea or label or description of myself that's going to encompass everything of who I am. It's not that I can't. And that, and what I wanted is for that thing to be able to make choices for me. And it can't, my body. Is there to make those decisions. And so that's what autonomy is. It's not just about other people. It's not just about your freedom from other people in a relationship. That's not exactly what we're talking about. We're talking about you and everything, literally you and not against, but you literally like your body versus your mind and your mind encompasses so much. It's so powerful. It's literally. Just one of the most remarkable creations on the planet is a human brain, a human mind, and human design has actually helped me understand that more and more, that my body's phenomenal, because it's here to keep me here. Yeah yeah, but the mind is this. Machine that can do so much that can, ask such great questions and come up with such great ideas and, bring in such amazing information. But because it can do that. It's really, shitty at taking care of me. It's so preoccupied with literally everything and anything else that it encounters that. You've got to have that autonomy and that autonomy lies in your body. Yeah. Truly is the thing that's going to speak up against all the other ideas. It's going to be that contrast that you're talking about, the binary in that sense of there's always another choice besides a choice that the world is presenting in any way that it presents. And so just

Andrea Ward Berg: 37:20

so the gateway to that autonomy is your strategy and authority. Yes.

Courtney Napier: 37:25

100%. It is your stride every time, like every time though. And I love that you were talking about your experiment. Cause I've been experimenting a lot with my determination. And one of the things that I, it's funny is that my favorite food is salad. I love salad so much. And if you follow me on Instagram, you will see what that means. And not these pretty little. California salads, They have I remember going as a kid to Golden Corral and the salad bar was like my favorite and it would be lettuce. It would be lots of olives, lots of pepperonis, cheddar cheese. And then there's all these different kinds of vegetables, like there'd be this much lettuce and like this much toppings and then just smothered with that ranch. So I just need you to understand, you don't get kind of

Andrea Ward Berg: 38:23

salad

Courtney Napier: 38:23

we're talking about here. Yeah. You don't get this little curvaceous body eating like alfalfa sprouts and yeah, no these are, queenly salad. But they're cold in my mind. And this is the point. There's a point I'm trying to make here, but I've been. I've learned and I'm hot determination. Another thing about being a sacral generator is like a lot of what at least I've read in human design. I've already experienced like nine tenths of what I've read. Like I already know based on my own cravings and my own desires, what's good for me. I'm like, Oh yeah, totally. Cause I love a cup of ramen before bed. I've loved that since I was little. I love soup. I've loved making soups for myself for lunch and soup and salad.

Andrea Ward Berg: 39:18

Yes. He loves soup. He has loved soup since he was six months old. And you know how it started? His babysitter was eating soup and he just grabbed the bowl, six month old soup, nobody no, he grabbed the bowl.

Courtney Napier: 39:37

I love that. I know. So what I've been doing is experimenting and exactly what you were saying, experimenting with okay, I start the day with a cup of tea. And I've realized that the more, fibrous and cold my meals are later in the day, the harder they are in my digestion. So I start the day hot. And I can start the day even maybe blended with like hot and I could have a salad for breakfast with my hot broth or an early lunch of salad and have like hot meat on top maybe a hot dressing, those types of things. And those, it makes the biggest difference. And exactly like you said about, you had to change your relationship with caffeine because it was keeping you from, it was making you miss. The cues that you needed to live your gifting as someone who's sacral, but also having a very sensitive digestion. When my digestion is off, when my belly is off, it distorts my sense of that sacral. Like how can I light up when I'm bloated? Yeah. That's like a flame to a helium balloon. Like I don't want anything lighting me up when I'm gassy, I don't want anything like no, it doesn't matter how what's going on if I'm, if things aren't moving smoothly, I'm not happy period. I'm not excited about anything period until my digestion's right. And so that's what. We're talking about here. We're talking about like this optimal connection to yourself. It's like optimizing your connection to yourself Yeah, and it's also about the experimentation That it allowed me The freedom to be creative about these meals to like, yeah, because I'm a psycho. So if I want a salad, I'm going to have a salad and I need, and I should have a salad,

Andrea Ward Berg: 41:56

right? You should. And, the thing is hot does not mean hot, like hot means room temperature or above. Yeah. So when you talk about like the salad bar, I think that's a great example because it's sitting out. It's not like straight out of the fridge, things that are at room temperature are fine. And when you add hot meat to it or other things that

Courtney Napier: 42:25

are warm, yeah.

Andrea Ward Berg: 42:28

Yeah. Grilled vegetables or whatever you're adding to it. Just brings up the temperature a little above room temperature, or, if you, are going to have a salad, make it ahead of time and let it sit out to get to room temperature and then put your warm dressing on it. That's an easy thing to do is just warm up the dressing or, like one thing I'm experimenting with Everett, my two year old, who is also hot determination is he really loves granola. Yeah. And one thing that Ryan does in the winter is he warms up his milk before he puts it in the granola. And Everett's always going after Ryan's cereal. He's daddy's cereal, Yeah.

Courtney Napier: 43:12

You got me again. That's such a good idea. That's such a good idea. And,

Andrea Ward Berg: 43:17

and the thing that's interesting, for those that are listening and we can I know that you've been checking out Vanessa's account, about determination. And if this is an area that you are, you've been in your strategy and authority for a little while and you want to go deeper in we can link to her account in the show notes because she speaks a lot about, About determination and environment and view and perspective, which are the four variables, the arrows at the top of the chart. But as I talked about in the beginning, it's, this is really just one of the layers of complexity. And so for, if you're listening and you're not at digestion yet, that's okay. Like for you, it might just be getting comfortable with waiting, getting comfortable with not initiating. It might be getting comfortable waiting for the invitation, depending on your type, everybody has to wait. Just true. It's just different types of waiting. So we probably have to do a whole episode on waiting. That's going to

Courtney Napier: 44:35

be a good episode. Yes, absolutely we do.

Andrea Ward Berg: 44:39

And what do you do while you're waiting?

Courtney Napier: 44:41

What do you do while you're waiting? That's a whole thing. And we talked a lot about that, I feel like. We did. In the beginning of my journey. But I wanted to go back, because you're right if you're not here yet, that's fine, and I wanted to add that one more, like a one more story about how, even yesterday, or Wednesday, we were talking about this, with my determination, you were like, yeah you learned about this a year ago, but it's taken you a whole year to implement, and the way that your relationship with caffeine was like, Yeah, that's fine that you know this, but it's many years, there's a phrase that somebody shared with me. Brenda is her name. She was I went to Bible college and she was a student there too. And we were very close. And I don't carry a lot of great memories from that time, but this is one of the things that really served my relationship with her. First of all, it was wonderful, but also this phrase, and she said that burden does not necessitate timing

Andrea Ward Berg: 45:40

and it's

Courtney Napier: 45:41

always followed me because I feel and it speaks so much to what you were saying that there's going to be things that are like revealed to us, whether that's human design or literally anything else, and we are going to want to immediately jump Yeah. And that is not the only way to integrate something new into your life and with human design and understanding strategy and authority, that is, it's, it protects, right? Because again, going back to the whole point, like our bodies are here to protect us, to keep us alive, to keep us thriving. And so just because your mind receives a new thing. A new idea and you're feeling the, rumblings of a connection to that piece of information. It doesn't necessarily mean it's time to drop everything is to clear out your fridge or throw away all your clothes or, stop breastfeeding your baby or any, that's not what it's about. It's not what it's about. We don't let, we don't let the ideas. And that is incredibly freeing for us because we don't let them lead the way anymore. Yes. Yes. Yes. There's great information, but when they, we don't let them lead the way we are still in charge, yeah. And that is incredibly freeing. It's been incredibly freeing for me. And it really has taught me how much more is possible when I let something sit and marinate and wait for my cycle to line up, light up when it chooses to about the thing it chooses to light up about, and then to experience that instead of hearing an idea and saying, let's do it right now. And I do it. And I don't know what I'm doing because my body's not on board.

Andrea Ward Berg: 47:54

Yeah. Yeah. That's huge. Yeah. And you don't, you, you don't get the satisfaction. Yes. You don't get the satisfaction. And so then you're running on fumes because the satisfaction is what brings the fuel for the sacral to continue to burn.

Courtney Napier: 48:14

And I love for you cause that was a really good segue into, we talked about not self in the beginning and like themes. And if you feel so inclined, I'd love to hear about what does the true self feel like? Like when you're in the groove, what does that look

Andrea Ward Berg: 48:39

Yeah. I think we talked about this a little bit. We did.

Courtney Napier: 48:43

Yeah. And another.

Andrea Ward Berg: 48:45

Yeah. I can't remember. But, really what you want to direct your attention to is your signature. So when, you are in true self expression, you will feel. Satisfaction. If you're a generator or MG, you will feel peace. If you are a manifester, you'll feel success. If you're a projector and you'll feel surprise or delight if you're a reflector. And the reason that's helpful is, as you are navigating your deconditioning process, which Ross says it takes seven years. minimum to decondition. And that is based on the fact that the human body regenerates every cell in the body every seven years. Which is actually a fact that I heard a couple of years before I found human design from Deepak Chopra and one of his books that he wrote. So I think that Is helpful when we think about this timeframe and how long it takes to decondition and the body leading the way to remember that it's based on programming literally in yourselves. And so when we think about, I lost my train of thought with that.

Courtney Napier: 50:20

Just that the process and what to look out for as we're

Andrea Ward Berg: 50:25

So what's helpful with your signature is that it gives you like real time feedback. Yeah. Most often we feel the not self. So the not self is frustration for generators, MGs, it's anger for manifestors, it's bitterness for projectors, and it's disappointment for reflectors. Most often when we're bumping up against that conditioning, we're feeling the not self, but and also it's important to keep the signature in mind because that's what we're going for. And so when we have that signature in mind, it allows us to unhook from. What supremacy culture says we should be going for, right? And that's that autonomy, like you can't have autonomy when you're still connected in with some external validation for your actions. And so the signature gives you something to look for. That is that internal validation. That is that way that you are designed to feel when you are in your true self. Yes. Yes.

Courtney Napier: 51:37

100%. And that's really beautiful. Like I've before we I guess we were friends from the jump, but before we were this closest friends, I had the pleasure of working with Andrea and she was my coach for a few months. And, she gave me an assignment that I love the joy list assignment, which was amazing. Just picture someone who's just hustled. Basically, that was my life was hustling, with the kids, hustling with marriage, hustling with work, just hustle work. And someone tells you to make a list of the things that you love to do that don't add anything else to your life, but fun, enjoy, and to prioritize doing two of those things every day. The look on your face was priceless. I was like, you're like what? And it's so wild because I had the same conversation or very similar conversation with Soleil last night. But just that, first of all, being assigned that because we love an assignment, a generator. But so being assigned that and then taking it seriously and doing that. And so I started singing in the car more, I started painting. I I started making meals separate from my kids. So I'd make my kids their dinner and then I would make something for Dave and I, that was actually like. Delicious instead of just edible, and, stuff like that. And it and, so I was getting to feel this satisfaction. I could sit down and eat my meal and be like, Oh, so good. Or, hear my favorite songs and sing to my favorite songs and feel that feeling of harmonizing and all these things that I love. And it really does I think a lot more of us need to prioritize creating. Opportunities to feel our signature. Yeah.

Andrea Ward Berg: 53:42

Yeah. And also like noticing I think the power of the joy list is you are, and that's something that I prescribe for every client who is a generator or MG when they start with me, it's always the start because it gets you in relationship with number one, your fuel. Every single has a unique fuel. And then number two, it gives you some contrast, right? Like the satisfaction and the ease when, all you have felt is frustration for many years, you start to just not believe that it's possible to feel anything different. It's

Courtney Napier: 54:22

so true. It's so true. So I think we gave a really good kind of very liberation centered. explanation and exploration of conditioning and deconditioning and what that looks like. I just wanted to know if you have any like parting ideas, something that's been in your head that you wanted to share any parting ideas about conditioning or anything that we've talked about today.

Andrea Ward Berg: 54:57

The only thing that comes in is just gentleness, really being gentle with ourselves And we're so conditioned to be hard on ourselves and often human design can just be another whip beat ourselves up. Like I didn't wait or here I am frustrated again like thinking that we're doing it wrong. And that's really not what it's telling us. That's really not the point. And so if you notice yourself weaponizing because we do that like we do that. Just to bring some gentleness back in, a really great tool for that is one that I learned from Liz Hayes, who I know I've talked about previous episodes. We will have her on, at some point it's really about remembering your goodness. She calls it the goodness of you and just reminding yourself that you're good. And you were good the day that you were born and you are no different today. Then you were, then you are just as good. And that is often like a little reset when, especially when we're talking about hard things we're conditioned to do things that harm us or others, hurt other people's feelings or whatever, you're dealing with, just coming back to the goodness of you

Courtney Napier: 56:38

and find people to remind you. Yes. So that's my little piece. Oh, this was so good. And fun episode. I really enjoyed this. And thank

Andrea Ward Berg: 56:53

you to everybody listening. We love

Courtney Napier: 56:55

you. Thank you for listening. Follow along. And also just be on the lookout for information about the HD liberation, groups. The collective. Yes. Yes. That's an awesome space. And it has all the things we talked about in more real, real special, little circle. Yes.

Andrea Ward Berg: 57:20

It's coming next month.

Courtney Napier: 57:22

Yay. Yay. Love you. Love you. Thanks listeners. We'll see you soon. Stop recording. Thank you so much for tuning into HD and Liberation podcast. We hope you've gained valuable insights into human design and its role in building a life of peace, success, satisfaction, and wonder. If you've enjoyed this episode, please show your support by liking, following, and sharing our podcast. on YouTube, or your favorite podcast platform. Your engagement helps us reach more people who can benefit from this wisdom. For exclusive content and to join our thriving community, consider becoming a Patreon member. Your support allows us to continue exploring the depths of human design and its potential for life and community transformation. Stay tuned for more fun, thoughtful, and impacting discussions. Together, we're unlocking the path to a more liberated and authentic life. Thank you for being a part of HD and Liberation Podcast.